I know – we ARE marketers, so what right have I to use the word ‘they’ in the title?
Well, at atom42, we work really hard to speak clearly and avoid bamboozling people with impenetrable marketing jargon.
Here are some of the terms we come across daily (and, ok, may be guilty of using on occasion) that probably leave non-marketers scratching their heads in bafflement:
“Content marketing is going to be a key part of our online strategy, going forward” – We’re going to hire someone to make infographics and someone else to write ‘top 10’ lists.
“Hyperlocal” – like, really local
“I’m going to take a deep dive into the data this afternoon” – I’ve got a Pret sandwich and a proper coffee and I’m literally going to stare at all these numbers until they start to make some sense.
“We’re going to do some crowdsourcing on this” – I made a SurveyMonkey!
“In this space” – A meaningless appendage. The marketing equivalent of “know what I’m sayin?”
“We’re going to start by tackling any low hanging fruit” – Whoever’s been in charge of your marketing is so astonishingly clueless that they’ve left us a pile of really simple things which will basically triple your business in a week.
“I think there’s a real niche market for this” – I think there’s a market for this.
“The team have taken a really granular approach on this project” – Working through every single page on your website has taken AGES. We even made a spreadsheet.
“Wearable technology” – Google Glass and that Apple watch thing.
“Getting your site to the top of Google is going to require a holistic marketing strategy” – Everything you’ve done so far has been so profoundly wrong that we’re going to scrap the whole lot and start again.
“The account has grown organically” – We genuinely didn’t do any dodgy stuff this time.
“We’re looking to leverage our previous marketing activities to boost this campaign” – We’re stealing an idea which worked really well for us before.
“Outreach/reaching out to someone” – Contacting them, you mean?
“Snapchat and WhatsApp have limited potential for us at present” – Until they do paid ads, I don’t wanna know.